Well, I finished the revision of the story and did a quick pass edit. This is the one I submitted to Leading Edge magazine which got rejected but they said they’d be interested in seeing it be resubmitted with some specific changes. I’m SO hoping this revision will be good enough for the magazine. Their two critique sheets spoke mainly about the main character, Jenna’s, back story and her developing relationship with the other main character, the mage Partuff. Both have been addressed by rewriting the first few intro pages as well as more slowly altering her view of the mage more gradually. Also, added a small combat scene to spice it up a bit more.
If anyone has any time, I would LOVE it if you could please read the old and new and tell me what you think. At the very least, if you can read just the new version or the first few pages of old and new it would make a huge difference. I stare at this over and over again and I know I miss things. Now that I did a rewrite and altered the pace of the protagonists’ romatic relationship, I’m not sure if I consistently wove that in and removed the other thread that had them more quickly becoming involved.