I’ve been incredibly fortunate as a gay man. I work at a company that is probably one of THE most GLBT-friendly workplaces in the world (we consistently get a 100 rating from HRC). My friends, family and neighbors accept me. I’ve never been called the f* word. I’m not blind to the world of homophobic discrimination, just removed from it. I felt it the most last year when we married (which was a violation of Texas constitutional law) but still it didn’t really hit me hard.

But I’m experiencing it first hand in the adoption world. Texas law does not forbid agencies from working with GLBT adoptive parents (though legislators have tried in recent years to make it so), but some agencies will not work with us. At least one told me that they couldn’t “due to state regulations”, which was a convenient cover for their homophobia if I didn’t know my laws better. I haven’t really had any outright “No”s or anti-gay remarks (many in fact are very willing to work with us - the adoption world isn’t overly homophobic, but if it’s there it’s harder to ignore). It’s the fact that my first question has to be “Are you willing to work with gay and lesbian adoptive parents?” As if them being so gracious to do so is a kind, kind thing indeed.

I have never, nor will I ever (thankfully) experience even a tiny fraction of the horrible discrimination racial minorities in this country have faced and still sadly face today. But I can empathize with them in how it must have felt at times in the past to approach a bathroom, water fountain, restaurant, bus or other facility with trepidation and wonder if the powers that be which run the facility are willing to be so kind, gracious, and generous as to allow me the same access to their services as everyone else.