This was written as an exercise in writing a complete short story that focused on classical plot structure (exposition, rising action, turning point, falling action, conclusion). Not finished yet, but getting there. There’s a clear protagonist (the main character) and antagonist (the mountain).
“I can’t believe you talked me into this.” Abrim spoke. He then lowered his voice to speak the incantation which caused his climbing gear to float up onto his back. Looking up as he tightened the straps on his pack, his face lit up in a big grin. “Jain, I know! I know! No more magic from this point on. Honest.” Abrim crossed his dark hands in the gesture of a vow.
Jain didn’t say anything in reproval, but turned towards the huge mountain before them and looked up at its ice-covered summit.
“We’re going to climb this thing?” Abrim asked for the twentieth time as he stepped up next to his best friend since boyhood. “With no magic?” He turned to Jain, a look on Abrim’s face that an answer in the negative would not be surprising, would even be appreciated. Jain flashed a look at Abrim, his emerald eyes sizing up his jovial friend.
“No magic.” Jain said softly.
“I imagine we could get up there by flying, or perhaps a wizard’s sphere. It’d take a lot out of us, but we could do it.” Abrim nodded his head as he spoke, approving of his own estimation. “Never heard of anyone trying to make their way up to the top of Mount Krassus before, with or without magic.”
“Well then, we’ll be the first.” Jain began walking through the soft, swaying green grasses that capped the hill they stood on at the foot of the mountain.
Abrim jogged ahead to catch up with Jain, taking three strides for every two of Jain’s longer ones. “But don’t you ever wonder why no one has made it up there?” He shaded his eyes from the morning sun as he glanced up at the looming mountain. “Maybe because no one wanted to die?”
“I’m climbing this mountain Abrim. Are you coming with me?” Jain replied tersely.
“Yes! I said I would, didn’t I?” Abrim shook his head.
The two young men walked on in silence for a while in the early cool morning. A clear cloudless sky sat to their sides and behind them. Before them they saw only the reds and browns of the vast boulders piled up ahead.
As the grasses began to become more sparse and the few trees gave way to scrub, Abrim called out to Jain to halt. Jain turned impatiently to look at his friend. Abrim had taken off his pack, and pulled out a sling. Quickly he picked up several good sizes stones, hefting them in his hands for the right weight. With ease, Abrim loaded the sling and swung it over his head. The taut leather strap hummed in his ears, and he let loose. Both their eyes followed the speeding stone to its target, a large rabbit Abrim had noticed feeding at a clump of elderberry shrubs a few yards away.
A short while later, Abrim had finished skinning and preparing the three rabbits he’d caught. The thin strips of meat had cooked over a small fire, all while Jain watched on with a detached expression. While he worked, Abrim saw more of the blond curls on the back of Jain’s head than his face, his friend continually turning towards the mountain.
“All done. We have some meat now to go with our hardbread and sour cheese rations. Should keep through to tomorrow I imagine.” Abrim kicked dirt over the fire’s ashes, squelching them. Swiftly he packed back up his cleaned blade, the meat, and his flint.
“You’re quite talented at that Abrim. I don’t think I’ve seen three rabbits prepared so quickly before.
Abrim grinned over to his friend, glad to hear him break his silent reverie. “Well, I learned from the best. Somera taught me…” The words had escaped his lips before he could think. You stupid fool! He thought to himself. Jain didn’t withdraw into himself at the mention of his sister’s name as much as Abrim thought he might. He simply nodded, and stood up, brushing off his pants.
“Yes, well, she was handy with a knife in the kitchen. Let’s best get going on then, shall we?”
“Certainly, Jain.” Abrim shouldered his pack, still inwardly kicking himself. It’d been a month since her death and certainly he felt the pain as sharply as anyone else back in the village. But Jain had seem shut down since then. Only recently his talk about the mountain had seemed to bring him out of his shell. Abrim hoped, whatever challenge this mountain presented to Jain, it would at least serve the purpose of helping Jain find closure with Somera’s death.
By the time Abrim found himself comfortable with making a joke again to Jain, the mountain had forced both of them to shift their focus to the path ahead. Rocks of every shape and size littered the steep path. Abrim placed his boots carefully on each step. Even at this low height a misstep could cause a fairly serious tumble. The idea of building a travois and hauling Jain back with a broken leg for two days on the miner’s trail back to the village did not appeal to Abrim.
At first he worried Jain might be too withdrawn, too distracted to pay proper attention to his footing sufficiently. But silent as Jain remained, he too carefully watched every step. In fact, his body seemed to come alive with energy and purpose as he tackled the mountain path. Soon Abrim found Jain’s pace challenging, breathing heavily as they climbed between boulders and leapt from rock to rock towards the first grey cliff wall before them.
At the base of the wall they set down their packs in a slight alcove giving the slightest protection from the cold winds. Abrim stretched and grinned. “How long you reckon it will take us, Jain?”
“Good weather, three full days.” Jain began preparing a simple lunch for them, breaking off chunks of hard bread and cheese, with a small strip of dried cooked meat each.
“Like a walk in the meadow!” Abrim teased. Jain simply cocked one eyebrow. He surveyed the valley of the Bolis River that unfolded before them. Green pastures, the few buildings in the distance on the edge of the village. A thick line of dark trees clung to the river’s path, obscuring it from his view. His brow furrowed suddenly. Turning to Jain, he asked “You think the Kardish will come again before the winter sets in?”
Jain’s eyes turned hard and cold. “Best not to think of that. We can’t do much against them this far north. Come, eat. Is your rope and hook ready for the climb?”
Abrim returned and took the meager food, but didn’t pick up Jain’s attempt to change the subject. “They have doctors who don’t heal with magic you know. They study the body. With knives and herbal teas, men acting like midwives!”
“Yes, but far more effective.” Jain sighed in resignation, but again Abrim seemed to pay no heed.
“A Kardish doctor –“
Jain broke him off before he could complete the sentence. “No!” He stood up quickly. He turned away, running his hands through his hair. Taking a deep breath he turned back to Abrim. “Maybe. It’s a moot point. But would it really have been worth it to have a Kardish doctor on hand to heal Somera’s sickness if we’d had to live under their laws? Worship their gods? Be enlisted to fight their wars? Pay some distant king taxes so he swim in gold? Would it?” He rushed at Abrim, who stood up instinctively in defense.
“No! I’m just saying, we could get their books, study with their doctors. Something!” The two now faced each other inches apart, neither flinching.
“Our people will never owe those war-mongering pillagers so much as a thank you! Never! There are other ways.”
“Other ways? Like what? Magic certainly can’t—“
“I know!!” Jain again interrupted. “Don’t you think I know magic has limits? When all the village’s power couldn’t heal Somera? I felt helpless. I –“
It was Abrim’s turn to interrupt this time. He spit the words in Jain’s face. “I lost her too you know! I loved her! We were betrothed damn you!” Abrim’s whole body felt tense, taut.
Jain stood silent a moment, staring into his best friend’s blue eyes. His near-brother-in-law. Suddenly he smiled and play punched Abrim, who flinched before he realized the tension had melted. “Don’t I know you loved her! How you used to go on and on…” He stepped back and began hopping about the makeshift camp site. “Oh, Somera’s blond tresses are soooo beautiful. Oh Somera this…” Embarassed, and still coming down from his anger, Abrim couldn’t help but laugh at Jain’s attempt to defuse the situation. A skill he’d had since they were little. Abrim’s body relaxed, and the pit in his heart that had opened back up seemed to shrink away again. It never went away, only retreated to the back of his heart, mind, and soul. He picked up the earlier conversation.
“So how would our healers do what you propose without copying the Kardish?” They both sat back down to finish their meal.
“We start from the basics. They swallow their pride for one thing and go to the midwives and herbalists. Extracts of some plants seem to really help certain sicknesses and injuries. Perhaps even there are times when cutting with knives like a Kardish is the right thing to do on an ailing body. I’m not saying it would be a quick path or without mistakes, but those skills must be learned to complement a healer’s natural abilities. We shouldn’t rely on magic so much throughout our daily lives. There are other ways to do things.”
“But why? Sure, you can spend all day chipping at a stone block, but you can also shape it, infuse the stone with the natural essence of earth and bend it to your will.”
“And when you reach a bit of deadstone that will not bend to your will? What then will you do?” Jain asked.
“You toss the cursed rock and get another!” Abrim joked.
Jain nodded, his gaze distant. “Yes. You get another.” Abrim’s smile slipped away again.
“Ok. I see your point. There are limits to what magic can do. I know. Perhaps there are times when your hand and mind are better to solve the problem then simple spells and incantations.”
Jain stood up. “Shall we climb?”
“It’s what we came here to do after all.”
After examining the rough cliff wall, they managed on only the second try to get the grapnel hook secured above a reasonably craggy path and began the ascent. The rough grey stone proved to have many nooks and crannies suitable for hand and foot. Every few steps up, they readjusted the rope about their arm and waist. Abrim had climbed a few walls with a hook and rope, but never this cliff. Few had ever tried it, as the pass only miles away made the climb unnecessary. That, and the fact that anyone with a decent magical ability could ascend the wall in a number of ways. Still, after a few hours of short climbs to ledges interspersed with brief rest before throwing the hook again, Abrim appreciated the simple physical challenge of climbing the wall unaided by magical means.
Still, Abrim smiled broadly when they topped the last climb to the top of the cliff. The vast summit still hung above them, and a fairly flat stretch of rocky terrain lay before them, running to the next wall, more a dark brown than the grey cliff they had just finished. Jain turned to appraise the sun’s position. They had perhaps a few more hours of daylight left. “There” he pointed to the base of the brown wall, at a pile of large boulders. “We can get shelter amongst those for the night.”
“Very well then, o, brave leader. I follow in your steps!” Abrim brought his hands together before his face in mock salute. Jain snorted and shook his head, setting out.
Abrim arose the next morning, full of aches and cramps in his back. He missed his fire-warmed farmhouse, and the soft straw-filled mattress. A heavy blanket beneath boulders that barely blocked the wind just could not compare. He stretched and drank some of their water along with a few bites of bread, and packed up. Stepping out from the little stone shelter, he saw Jain packed and waiting. “About time sleepy head! Slept like a babe, did you?” Abrim just shot him a look and walked past him.
Jain examined the stone of the brown wall. It appeared to consist of a drier, earthier stone than the first wall. Not brittle enough to break by human hands, but the incessant forces of time and nature had crumbled the earthen wall significantly. “A lot of loose debris, Abrim. Be careful on this route.”
As they began, it became abundantly clear that this wall posed far more a challenge than its lower sibling. At one point a long crack a hand’s width wide gave them good purchase on the wall. Digging their hands, arms, and feet into the crack, the rough surface tore roughly at their exposed hands until they paused to wrap them in strips of cloth.
Breathing heavily, Abrim thought Jain intended to pause for lunch on one decent sized ledge near the top of the crack, but he simply threw the rope again and continued the ascent. Abrim merely shrugged and followed. This was Jain’s mountain, whatever purpose it served, Abrim was simply here to climb it with him, as a good friend should, he thought.
A few holds away from the crack, Abrim grabbed a short edge jutting out and shifted his weight. The loose rubble on the edge crunched under his hand, and he felt his hand roll right off the edge. “Jain!” He shouted as he lost his grip. Jain turned to see Abrim falling, his body swinging hard to his left into the wall. Abrim let out a grunt of pain as the stone met his shoulder and outstretched arm. Reflexively, he grabbed at the rope about his right arm as it unwrapped itself, releasing him to the openness below.
He hung from the rope, now hanging slack, no loops around his waist or arm. His left arm hung slack at his side, throbbing in pain. “Help me! Lift me up!”
Abrim watched in panic as Jain began slowly descending back to his position. “No! Use magic! I know you said no magic but this is no time for silly rules.” He tried to keep the pleading note from his voice. It was one thing to do this mountain the hard way for the sheer challenge of it, and quite another to die for a silly, increasingly pointless rule.
“I can’t Abrim.” Jain said curtly as he positioned himself near Abrim and began to pull the rope towards himself and the wall.
“Look, we’re not using magic to climb the mountain, just to save my life. Hurry. I can’t hold myself with one hand much longer. I can’t cast a spell right now with my left hand, the whole arm feels numb and I can’t move it, curse the gods! And I can’t very well use my right hand either at the moment.”
Jain silently looped the rope securely about Abrim’s waist, his body pulled close to the wall. Leaning against the wall on precarious footing, Jain tied a simple knot securing Abrim to the rope and began his ascent again. Cautiously Abrim let go of the rope and hung there in his makeshift harness til Jain reached the ledge at the top of the rope.
After Jain finished hauling him to the ledge and untied him, Abrim leapt up and shoved Jain against the wall with his good hand.
“I nearly died there you fool! I’m beginning to understand exactly what this mountain is to you. A physical challenge you can conquer with your own hands, proof you can beat things without magic. I’m here with you through thick and thin of it, to the summit and back. But don’t be stupid and risk my life needlessly! Why didn’t you use a spell to lift me to safety immediately?” Abrim chest heaved in deep breaths as he stared at Jain. Jain looked back, seemingly exploring his face for something.
“I told you. I can’t.”
“By the cursed blood of the gods Jain! My life! You could have broken your damned rule and used one spell to save me!”
“No.” Jain pushed him away, who smartly gave way rather than tussle on the narrow cliff ledge with the high mountain winds ripping by them. “I mean, I couldn’t have. Not even if I had desperately wanted to with all my life.” He looked intently at Abrim. “And trust me, friend, only one other time in my life have I wanted to do something so badly. And neither time could I do it.” He then turned away, towards the cliff wall, his hand futilely scraping against the rock.
“You…you can’t cast magic?” Abrim came to his friend and turned him around, to see tears running down his face.
“No.” He leaned his face against Abrim’s dirty jerkin. Abrim brought an arm around his shoulders and embraced him.
“For how long?”
“Since the night we tried to save Somera. When I failed, I … just felt it all drain from me. I can almost sense it at times, like a faint flicker of a candle in a distant cavern. But nothing like before. I can’t summon the faintest light, move the smallest feather.”
Abrim turned and surveyed their position. He shook his head in disbelief. “And you brought me up here on this mountain without telling me this?” He asked incredulously.
“Yes. Yes.” Jain whispered. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done something so stupid. Your right hand…can you cast with it? You can take us down now.”
Abrim frowned at Jain in silence til his friend looked up at him. “Now? When we’ve made it this far? By the gods’ graves I will. We’re climbing this mountain, and we’re climbing it without magic!”
Jain smiled a faint smile. “Your arm though. How bad is it?”
Abrim appraised his left arm. “The throbbing is bad, but I can feel it more.” He wiggled his fingers, moved the hand around slightly. “Let’s rest here for a while. I think I will hurt like blazes tomorrow, but I should be able to climb again with it soon if I take it easy.”
Jain nodded and clapped him on the shoulder. “Very well then. And thank you.” He stuck out his left hand to shake with Abrim.
Reflexively, Abrim tried to bring his hand up to shake, winced, then smiled. “Very funny.” Then he sat down to rest.
Their pace slowed on the cliff to let Abrim favor his good arm, but they tried to make up time on the steep hike above the wall. Snow drifts sat around them, growing larger and connecting as they hiked through the evening until the late sun set the whiteness all about them ablaze. Abrim shivered as he looked upwards to the icy summit. Tonight would be a frozen hell, he thought to himself.